Remember my post about having a bad day earlier in the week??? WEEEEELLLLL...
Yesterday, in the mail, I got the sweetest smiley face note of encouragement and a $5 gift card to Starbucks. This was from someone who isn't that close to me, more of a friend in passing and I know she wouldn't mind me telling you that. We run into each other at school and the Y and always have something to talk about. What a beautiful spirit she has. I have been inspired. THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH, JULIE. YOU ROCK!! :-)
Here is another weird looking self portrait. I decided to go this route b/c this is the first day this week my hair hasn't been up in a ball cap.
Onto "mommy guilt". The mornings in our home are chaotic. I'm just being honest. If I was more organized, maybe they wouldn't be. After we got in the car this morning, I told Copeland to get out his reading story and read it again on the way to school. Instead of doing what I asked, he smarted off to me that he had to put on his shoes and some other garbage back-talk.
I'll save you the details of the rest of the car ride of punishments, crying, more taking-away-of-privileges, more sassy mouth...and so on, and so forth.
At one time, the following came out of his mouth,
"You are the meanest mom in the world and I wish I didn't live in this house."
Really, honestly, that doesn't hurt. I don't mind being "mean"...BUT WHAT HE DIDN'T YET REALIZE... was that he'd started a competition with me. I had to win. I'm not proud of that...just being real here.
At this point, I was so fired up from all the other jazz, I came back at him with,
"Well, C, I'm sure I could arrange for your transport to XYZ country where the kids have to walk 30 miles a day for their water and sleep on roach infested floors." Yes, I did spout that nonsense.
The morning did not end well and I hate sending my kids into school unhappy.
So, all day I have worried about this...worried that I was too hard on him... Because, NO DOUBT, I should have handled things better.
I wish there was a backspace button in my life...MUST get over it and move on.
"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God." 1 John 4:7
***I am not a writer, so don't be too hard on me. ;-)***