OK, people, I am alternating between laughing and crying here...literally.
David and I have been going to the Y together in the mornings. I've been working out at this Y for years(when I am being diligent)so most of the people there are familiar.
There is this man(who is always there)...old enough to be my dad...but not old, whom I chat with on occasion. Nice man, super sweet wife.
Act One Scene One
I am at the mirrors doing bicep curls and David is running on the treadmill.
I truly cannot remember what took place in the conversation prior to the "judgement".
Man, "so, you've got someone coming with you in the mornings now."
Me, "yeah, it's nice."
I wait while he forms his next thought...
Man, "IS HE YOUR SON?"
Me, "pardon?" (cough, choke, cough, choke) INSERT "I WILL SURVIVE" lyrics in my head.
Man pauses again.
Me, barely audible, "uh, nooooosir, he's my husband."
Man clearly realizes his misapprehension.
Man realizes he needs to say something b/c my mouth is gaping open and I cannot form a word.
Man, trying to redeem himself, "Uh, well, the couple that works out together, stays together."
Me, as I'm putting my headphones back in my ears so I don't have to give an audience this conversation anymore, "haha, yup."
I immediately put the weights down and sat on the floor to stretch b/c I could not stand. I felt this bubble of laughter present itself in my stomach but I pushed it back down so I wouldn't look like a fool. I tried to smile at him a few times to let him know I would not be chasing him down with a machete.
Then, I lowered my head and set my fingers to work. I texted all my close friends b/c I needed assurance RIGHT THEN AND THERE that this man was FREAKIN(sorry mom) CRAZY.
Guess what? Immediately, four sisters replied with,
"SPECIAL NEEDS" (not trying to offend anyone here.)
Thankfully, David was off the treadmill at this point and I snatched him up and said,
"I've got to tell you something INSANE, but we have to get out of here first." I grabbed a cup of coffee and hollered in my best grandama voice, "son, bring me my cane...I can't seem to get past this door jamb." No, I didn't.
We joked all the way home about it...about how I should have said,
"Yessir, I birthed him when I was 4 months old. (I am 4 months older than him) and we don't know who the father is, might be someone from the neighboring bassinet in the hospital nursery. It was a hard delivery, but the doctors helped me through it."
I called my bud, Ashley, b/c I knew she would pee in her pants(sorry again, mom), but got her husband instead...he's a funny guy...had to tell him. His comback was that David should have come up and planted a big one on me and said, "mom likes it when I kiss her like that." Eww, but it made me laugh...even harder.
...and then, I boohooed a little more b/c, REALLY?? I DO NOT DRESS LIKE MAW MAW AT THE Y.
My "SON" and I had a great time at the beach over Christmas for our 13th Anniversary. Project 365 to come later...